Transgender Day of Remembrance, Elder Transphobia

Very interesting read. Take the time and read through this.

Pagan Activist

First let me apologize for my long absence from this site. I really have no excuse. I’ve let time get away from me or something. Perhaps practicing some of that self-care that I talk so much about is something that I need to be doing. Anywhoo…


Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance. A day to remember all of those who have fought hard for the cause of trans rights, equality, and even simple recognition. A day to honor the memory of those who have fought and died, those who have been murdered, and those who have been straight-washed out of trans history. This is a day that saddens me and gladdens me. It saddens me to think of the countless lives that have been lost, shattered, and forgotten. It gladdens me that for so many years the LGBTQIA-etc community has been banding together, to extent or another…

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White Tears are falling

So this rolled down my timeline on FB.  It is just a snippet of what was posted.

“Please go back to posting adorable pics of your kids and pets and what you had for dinner!’

This screams of “don’t make me feel uncomfortable about living in my bubble” I don’t want to hear about folk’s opinion that doesn’t make me feel like a good person.

Such a privilege position you happen to sit in.  Dictating to me or anyone else what they should post on THEIR FB feed so you don’t feel guilty about not caring about what is happening in their world.  You only want to hear/see about their adorable kids and pet photos and what you had for dinner.  Fuck that shit.

So not to offend you or to upset your delicate sensibilities (white privilege much), I should only post things that make you happy.  I shouldn’t actually post things that are important in my life, unless it only adorable kids, pets or things I had for dinner photos.

I get it, you only want the happy, full of joy, full of life, and nothing bad ever happens post.  Unfortunately we don’t all get to live in that world you have built up in your head.

I get that you, don’t understand that by me walking out my door I am instantly hit with micro aggression.  I am judged simply for the color of my skin.  You live in a world that caters to you.

I guess you never even thought how that particular post would make me feel.  Of course you didn’t, because what you feel is more important.  It is very simple to control what you see on your timeline without dictating that we should post nothing but adorable kid/pets photos and our amazing dinner creations.  You can hide post very easily.  You do have control over what you see in your timeline.  I know I do, we do use the same FB.

What I won’t do is change how I post.  I will continue to post things that I feel is important to me.  You can choose not to see them; you can choose not to comment on them.  You can simply sail on by like a ship passing in the night.  Never knowing what it is like, to walk a day in my shoes.

You can also continue pretending we live in a world of rainbows, unicorns, puppy kisses and sunshine with glitter falling out of the sky.  But for me I am going to continue living in the actual real world were puppy kisses and sunshine glittered clouds don’t always make the day better.

I am using my voice to shed light on things that are happening and continuing to happen.

Maybe it is time for me to reevaluate my friends list.  Maybe it is time for me to actually unfriend people who can’t see the humanity in me.


You may not have actually said those exact words. But…. to me it was implied.


May the new day bring you wonderful blessings….

Early morning silence

It is early Wednesday morning around 2:30 am EST as I write this.

I have the TV on mute to block out the chatter coming from MSNBC; there has been a new development in France.

But my mind wanders to Nigeria where there was another explosion that killed 32 people, while they were shopping.  I don’t know how many mothers; fathers or even children were killed.  I just know there life ended today because of terrorism within their country.  The government failed to protect them.  The people they served they didn’t protect.  All of those dreams lost in an instance when some coward fucker decided to not only take his/her life (not sure if the bomber died) but to take innocent victims with them. 

My mind also wanders to another young black man who was shot in the head while in police custody.   He is currently as of this blog post on life support. The government has failed this family also. The police who are there to serve and to protect failed to do so with him.  His life mattered.   He had dreams and aspirations.  Will he actually have that chance to achieve them now? It all depends of whether or not he survives.  Even if he does survive this shooting, his life will be forever changed.  We will never know what he was going to do before this senseless shooting took place.  I send my prayers to him and his family and friends for support. 

I worry about the current generation that is in college (Missouri, Howard, Berkeley, and Yale there are a few others as well) fighting for change to occur.  All the while their lives are being threatened and not being taken seriously. 

It is a daily struggle to go out in this world, and to be look on as less then because of the color of your skin.  Before we even speak we have been judged entirely on our skin color.  This even happens before we are even seen.  When we apply to jobs online, if our names sound to ethnic, we may never get that called back.  Regardless if we are qualified to do the job.  They instantly know that they are not dealing with a white person.

But somehow folks seem to think we get all this cash in grants and loans to magically go to school with no hurdles to jump over.  The affirmative action was successful in getting us in.  We still have to fight and prove each day we belonged there.  We had/have to fight to stay there.  We had to deal with the struggles of micro aggression in classrooms.  We have had respectability politics thrown in our faces.  If we dress this way, wear our hair this way and talk this way; we will appear serious enough to be taken serious enough.  Even though we know we won’t be taken seriously.  Both Martin and Malcolm were assassinated in their Sunday’s best. 

There is a storm brewing. I can feel it, it will be a very nasty storm and the outcome is still murky.  But something has to give.   We can’t continue living this way.  We just can’t.


Blessings of the new day…..

Moments in our Life

There are moments in our lives, where we at times feel helpless when horrible, horrible things happen to innocent people.   Current events the media is focusing on in Paris, while seemingly ignoring the terrorist activities happen here at home.   Black and Brown college students being terrorize on campus for having the gall to speak out against the rampant racial disparities and violence against them.  I really want to say us.  Because they are us, they are our younger generation that is fighting for equal rights inside the Ivory White Tower of Higher Education.

I have moments of wanting to go into my battle mode spiritual and call all of my big guns I have by my side, to do what I can’t do physically.  In some of the moments I feel like Galadriel from LOTR when Frodo offers her the ring.

“And now at last it comes. You will give me the Ring freely! In place of the Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth, All shall love me and despair!”

In that moment I would have the power to right the wrongs restored balance and wipe out the racist, the homophobic assholes, transphobic slugs, the sexist and misogynist parasites.  Basically bring white supremacy to its knees before me. Right the wrongs of my ancestors and yours. Send healing back through that line for them to see we have corrected the atrocities that happen to them. That they didn’t die in vain. That we have prevail and conquered our oppressors.
In my mind I will see that as a balance swinging back the pendulum to the center. For I believe it has swung too towards intolerance and I am the person to bring it back.

Now that is a lot of power for one person to have.  Power can be a great thing if used correctly.  But the old saying is true absolute power can corrupt.  Somewhere in my wielding of this great massive power I would somehow turn into the very thing I was trying to get rid of.  I would somehow lose my humanness and become this person who would destroy and devastate the world with my fury which would be righteous and swift.  But at that moment I would become unrecognizable and someone would have to rise up and stop me from doing more harm than good.  Because even though my intentions would be for the greater good, if by me using this power I take away people’s free will and choices. How am I any different than those I am trying to destroy, how would they learn that racism, xenophobia, transphobia, homophobia, sexism, misogyny is wrong?

What would happen is folks will rise up and to stop what they would consider tyranny created by me.  They would feel their way of life being threatened.  When back into a corner they will do anything and everything to keep them in that seat of power.  The Holy Altar of White Supremacy runs deep in not only this country but in other Western countries, whose sole power rest on keeping the rest of us out of any position of power, keeping us away from the very resources they have stolen from us, that would help balance the world out. But WAIT! That is exactly what is happening right now.  Racism is not having its last gasping breath of death throes; White Supremacy is digging its heels in and doubling down on it.  It is daring us to try laughably to take them down.  They know they have all the power, they know they can keep dividing us to fight each other, while they laugh and laugh at us.  We HAVE the power to this without any divine assistance.  We have the knowledge, the buying power and all of our ancestors at our back to help push us forward.  Our history has the answers we just have to stop and look and remember.  Everyone, who has fought before us left clues on how to do these things, the tactics they are using against us are the same tired tactics they used before, we just need to rewrite the playbook and keep it moving.

Will there be setbacks? Yes! Will there be breakthroughs? Yes! Will we finally win this freaking battle? Hell yes we will.  But we can only do it together and not let them pit us against each other.


May the new day bring you blessings…

Like friends who haven’t talked in a while

I know I haven’t posted on here in a long time.  Which I am not sure what happen.  Maybe the new job adjusting to working midnights.  Learning all the new things I need to learn and still trying to find time to spend with my beloved.

Lots of things have been buzzing through my brain at night not letting me sleep.  The ups and downs of our relationship.  The money problems, we are always sitting on the edge of being broke and paying our bills late.  But that is part of being in any relationship.  Managing our time and our money is really tough.  There are times when I wished I was a kid again and didn’t have to worry about all this adult stuff.  But that is not the real world.

The excitement was unreal, almost as if I was living in a dream.  We hand fasted in a UU church 13 years ago on New Year’s Eve.  This past June 26, 2015 the SCOTUS finally stated the ban on same sex marriage was unconstitutional we were finally able to make if all official.  Two months later it happens, it was such an exciting moment in our life.   Now a month later we are settling in to our normal daily routine of just being us.  Money is still tight but in the end we have each other and that is extremely important.

Getting back on task 2015 edition lol

I need to regain myself this year.

I started practicing yoga in august was doing great. I finally get a job and my practice went so far out the window it wasn’t funny. :o:o:o:o:|:|

It was very hard to basically doing anything after work. I was drained and I had to rush and get everything done before jump in bed and start the day all over again.

So now that I am on my normal schedule of working  12 hours Fri, Sat and Sun. I should be able to get back into my groove.

Sidebar: can I tell you love love my job. I love the people I work for. Yes it is a faith based hospital but the amount of genuinely happy people who are willing to help you reach your goal :mind boggling:  Now I am sure I am using a very critical lense on my new employer. Given the fact that last employer was such a toxic environment, I was saying thank you for running me over with the bus I just cleaned and put gas in.

So how should I set my goals so that they are not overwhelming?
What ways have worked for you in keeping you on task??

Oh yeah a new year, it’s a new day!


I have been absent these few months. I was training at my new job. I did 4 weeks of first shift. Four weeks :o:o:o of 7 am starting work. Which meant getting up at 4:30 am:oops::oops::oops:. I survived  that ordeal, no one was harmed, maimed or even killed in that little experiment of Ms Lady is not a morning person.

I trained another two weeks on midnight. So enjoyable. Then two more weeks of having babysitters watch me work. 💵💵💵 easy money for them since I did all the work.

I am finally working my shift all by myself💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃😎  The only downside is being far removed from the action. It will take some getting use too.

So we have celebrated Thanksgiving 🍗🐖 Christmas  🎅🎁🎄  Told 2014 to kiss our collective asses 🎉📆🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺

2014 was a rough year. The world finally saw what happens when you allow white supremacy to grow unchecked. But even with evidence proving otherwise folks still think racial inequality is a thing of the past. 50 years after Selma we are still demanding to be seen as humans.




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