The struggle is real

You never know when it will happen.  You always think it won’t happen to you, but then the unthinkable happens.  You lose your job. In the beginning I wasn’t really all that upset about me being fired from my job of 13 almost 14 years.  I was fired 2 days before my 14th year started.

I figure I would find something relatively easy to get another one.  Boy was I wrong.   I have applied, applied and applied some more.  I have had a total of 4 in person interviews out of the hundreds of applications and resumes.  I had about a dozen phone interviews.  I think a few of them I priced my self out of the job.  But I have bills that need to be paid and $8.00 an hour doesn’t cut it.  I was making almost $16.00 an hour at my old job.  So I am unwilling to go below $10.00 an hour.

Continue reading The struggle is real


Bright New Day

I open my eyes

I breathe in new

I feel the restorative power

Of a Bright New Day

I am the vehicle of Change

I am only responsible for what I do

I can only change myself

I can not expect others to do that for me

The past me hangs closely to me

Not really wanting to let go

Part of me want it to stay

But I know we can’t go on this path together

She has to go

So I can have a Bright New Day

So I can’t Sleep

So I am still up.  I fell asleep early this afternoon.  Thinking I would take a little cat nap.  Well that cat nap turned into 2 ½ hours of hard sleeping.  It is now 2:34 am on Wednesday morning.  Oops 🙂

Well what does that mean for my readers? Some rambling from me.

So I have heard a lot of talk about Shakeology.  I also heard how expensive it is.  I was looking on their site and HOLY CANOLI $129.95 O_o . Phew that is a lot of money.  Especially if one of us is not working and the other one is working  48 hours per a two week pay period.

Oh we could do it, but that would mean nothing else would get paid.  We would be living at her mom’s.  Yeah so not doing that again, did it once when she lost her job and we were able to survive on my income for 6 months before things hit the fan.  At that point we had to move to her parents.  It was supposedly only for 6 months.  It turned into almost 5 years.  *shudders*

So here is my question; why does eating healthy and everything that goes along with it cost so damn much? Continue reading So I can’t Sleep

Baby Cobra

So last night before bed I decided to some Yoga for stress.  To relive some stress I have been feeling dealing some of me and my beloveds personal life.  Job loss, unemployment and me not being able to find a job after 10 months of looking.

So everything was going great.  I was moving smoothly throw the poses.  Which I felt really good about until I came to doing the cobra (Bhujangasana).

I realize that I don’t have the upper body strength I thought I had.  Which was disappointing.  But apparently laying in that position didn’t do my hips or my sciatic nerve justice, or at least I think that is what is causing the pain.  I have a doctors appointment on the 20th of this month so I will find out what is going on.

I am truly enjoying the body positive aspect of yoga.  Later I will have links to the amazing women who have created a world of Body Positive Yoga.

I am going to put some icy hot on my hip and take some Motrin. Hopefully it will ease up some. I might also do some gentle stretches to see if that also helps.


The current narrative is troubling

What I am currently seeing with the media coverage, regarding the Ray Rice and Janey domestic violence video. Everyone is being a armchair therapist by adding their commentary and what they would’ve done.

Seeing some Black Women in the community saying she is only there for the money & the beatings are a part that package she wanted so badly. <<< that makes me sick to my stomach that Black Women could possibly say that about another BW. Ugh

I am not going to be the armchair therapist. I have absolutely no idea what goes on in a women’s mind when they are being abuse. What I do know is they don’t have to be beaten to be abused.

What I will suggest is go read the hashtag on twitter #WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft. Everything on that thread is from brave amazing women who had to make choices that we could never ever imagine or dream of.  Each of these women survived to tell their story. HOW many didn’t get that CHANCE?

Living under a rock in Antarctica

Unless you have been living underneath a rock in the middle of Antarctica, these past 1 ½ months have been like whoa!

Mainstream Media (from here on out will be MSM) has really stop talking about it.  But guess what? The protesting and the work is still going on.  MSM has talked a little about Ferguson with the Department of Justice coming in to investigate the police department.

There are some folks who actual thought, we were post racial with the election of the Senator from Illinois President Barack Obama.  Hey look we elected a black man to the highest office in the country The White House.  All that did was bring to surface the racist son of bitches who were already operating underground terrorizing POC everywhere.

Continue reading Living under a rock in Antarctica

My Journey Begins

After much enter discussion with myself (and my BFF), I have decided to start writing a blog to document my feelings on my personal spiritual, physical and mental journey of a happier me. I am not sure where this will take me, but let’s see where it goes.

This morning I called my grandmother to see how she was doing. Conversation went like this:

Me: Hi Grams

Grams:  I can barely hear you.  Sound all muffled.

Me: Oh that is my fault the microphone for my head set fell under my chin when I bent over.

Grams: Well you need to learn to move all of your chins out of the way.

Me: >_<

This is how our conversations tend to go most of the time.  Somewhere in our hours of conversation either me at her house, or on the phone, she somehow manages to throw a degrading comment in about my weight.

Another time:

Me: relationships are hard

Grams: well if you lost some weight you could actually find a good man.  I guess some guy would take you looking as heavy as you are.

Me: O_o   >_<

Continue reading My Journey Begins


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