When you have mutual friends in common…

This year has been turbulent, fraught with pitfalls and finding out your FAVS can be problematic  is disturbing. Even more disturbing is them not recognizing they are flawed and problematic.

With each thread that appeared whether they knew it or not lines were being haphazardly drawn.  The fall out was interesting to watch. Folk who we thought were true blue had flaws that either we didn’t notice before or they were really good at hiding them. Some of those flaws were not easily forgiven or forgotten.

Black Girl Magic is not perfect.  That would be unrealistic to be perfect.  To be honest I don’t want to be perfect.  That means I have stop growing, I have stop learning.  If you are not learning and growing you are stagnant and that is just gross.  Hell I have issues, I still fuck up my peoples pronouns, I still have some unpacking to do with my issues dealing with my mom and dad.  I need to flesh this out some more.  But I will let this stand as is.

 

So, Yeah it’s December again..

Hey my long lost friend,

It’s December again, and I haven’t post really that much this year.  Mostly to do with working a lot of hours and not have enough energy to write about anything.  Not saying I didn’t have plenty of topics to choose from this year.  My brain is literally exploding with ideas but, not having enough spoons to do it.  I literally at this point work, go home sleep, eat, kiss my wife, shower and off to work again.  Times are a little tough right now.

But I do want to wish everyone a Happy New Year.  I hope everyone’s holiday was fabulous and was spent with people who love and cherish all of you.  For those who were not able to be around family that sees them as a whole person you have my love and I SEE YOU.  You are enough and that is okay.

With warm Black Girl Magic love

Me *wink*

The Aftermath

This happened across this nation in the aftermath of 9/11. It still is happening. When the tales of where were you, what were you doing start, no one is talking about what they went through. What we CREATED in the aftermath of 9/11. I will say it again… WHAT WE CREATED in the aftermath of 9/11.

Awake Black Woman

We lived in “The Valley”, he and I. Our neighbors thought we were married. But we weren’t. We used to get a giggle about that, him being gay and whatnot. Out walking my little Yorkie, enjoying the Southern California sunshine, arm in arm. He was my best friend and we loved each other, so I guess people sensed a closeness that went beyond “just roomies”.

Then the towers fell. Over there so far away and the phone calls to the East Coast family to make sure… I was lucky. So many were not. This story isn’t about that because it isn’t my story to tell. Because, as I said. I was lucky. We both were.

I want to tell you about this young man. Hard working, a man of Faith and Family. We got to know him on our daily walks, because we’d stop in now and then on the…

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There is absolutely no way you can

Compare the BBP to the KKK

Because folks seem to want to white wash Black Panther Party Movement..

A lot of these programs are still in use today, because they were started by the BPP.  The more you know 🌈

Black Panther Party Community Programs
1966 – 1982

1. Alameda County Volunteer Bureau Work Site

2. Benefit Counseling

3. Black Student Alliance

4. Child Development Center

5. Consumer Education Classes

6. Community Facility Use

7. Community Health Classes

8. East Oakland CIL (Center for Independent Living) Branch

9. Community Pantry (Free Food Program)

10. Drug/Alcohol Abuse Awareness Program

11. Drama Classes

12. Disabled Persons Services/Transportation and Attendant

13. Drill Team

14. Employment Referral Service

15. Free Ambulance Program

16. Free Breakfast for Children Programs

17. Free Busing to Prisons Program

18. Free Clothing Program

19. Free Commissary for Prisoners Program

20. Free Dental Program

21. Free Employment Program

22. Free Food Program

23. Free Film Series

24. Free Furniture Program

25. Free Health Clinics

26. Free Housing Cooperative Program

27. Food Cooperative Program

28. Free Optometry Program

29. Community Forum

30. Free Pest Control Program

31. Free Plumbing and Maintenance Program

32. Free Shoe Program

33. GED Classes

34. Geriatric Health Center

35. GYN Clinic

36. Home SAFE Visits

37. Intercommunal Youth Institute (becomes OCS by 1975)

38. Junior and High School Tutorial Program

39. Legal Aid and Education

40. Legal Clinic/Workshops

41. Laney Experimental College Extension Site

42. Legal Referral Service(s)

43. Liberation Schools

44. Martial Arts Program

45. Nutrition Classes

46. Oakland Community Learning Center

47. Outreach Preventative Care

48. Program Development

49. Pediatric Clinic

50. police patrols

51. Seniors Against a Fearful Environment

52. SAFE Club

53. Sickle Cell Anemia Research Foundation

54. Son of Man Temple (becomes Community Forum by 1976)

55. Sports

56. Senior Switchboard

57. The Black Panther Newspaper

58. Teen Council

59. Teen Program

60. U.C. Berkeley Students Health Program

61. V.D. Preventative Screening & Counseling

62. Visiting Nurses Program

63. WIC (Women Infants, and Children) Program

64. Youth Diversion and Probation Site

65. Youth Training and VirtueNetz HK – Design, Development & Internet Marketing

The last Wednesday of Jan 2016

Can you believe it? January is almost over.  27 days have literally flown by.

The northeast and mid atlantic was blasted by the Jonas Brother of a winter storm.  It could have been worse.  The Beibs could have shown up.  EEK

I am happy we didn’t get all that snow.  I would have called into work and attempted to do my job from home. Because nope!!

So did everyone survive Mercury Retrograde? We have 3 more retrogrades this year.  The next one is April 28th I believe.

This is just a short and sweet post.  Probably will post later once I have had my coffee.

All the Things…..

I begin to wonder if it is a curse for crafter, whether it be quilting, knitting, crochet or any other craft that you do.  Starting a billion projects and not really finishing any of them, then knowing you have all of these unfinished projects and you have the nerve to start a million more.

I knit and crochet.  I am looking now at my stash and wondering if my hobby is actually collecting yarn.  I have so many projects that I started but I only have 1 to claim that is actually finished.  Okay, partially finished because I still have to weave in the ends.  So we will call it 99% finished.  LOL

It is a baby blanket for my goddess daughter who had her very first child. So would that be my great goddess daughter?  It was my very first finished crochet project.  Now mind you she has this precious little one at the end of October.  What, oh yeah it is Jan 7 and I still haven’t seen this little precious bundle of joy.  I am not worried she will outgrow the blanket.  But I do need to get my ass moving and get it done.

Pictures are below.

This was at the beginning.

This is it finished, well except for the ends that need weaving in and the shaping needs to be done.

So I think for this year I will strive to complete more.  Frog the items that I have no interest in anymore and only do projects that keep my interest.  If I do a project a month, I can have 12 projects done my December of this year.  We shall see.

I also want to read more.  There never seems to be enough time in the day to get everything I want to do done.  But I feel like my IQ is slipping from not reading like I use to.

So I am going to go separate clothes for laundry day tomorrow.  Then see what kind of cute yarns I already have to make a cute little baby hat for the cute little baby who is 2 months old now.  Yes I know it is 1:30 am on Thursday morning.  I work 3rd shift and this is my day off.  So shut it.

Oh I am going to see, if I can not purchase any new yarn (unless to finish a project) and use up what I have in my stash.  I do have a problem buying yarn.  I tend to buy yarn without a project in mind and that is why I have 3 cedar wood trunks full of yarn.  Don’t judge me I know ya’ll have stuff too.

I feel judged.

Have a great day.

Happy New Year

6 days late.. LOL

I hope everyone had an enjoyable holidays.  Mine was low key which is so much appreciated.  I had to work the midnight shift on xmas day, which was fine by me.  It was a really quiet night.  Actually the whole weekend was really quiet.  

I enjoy working the weekends especially the midnight shift.  It is a lot less hectic, as in lots of co workers running around doing nothing.  We still are busy with patients coming in through the emergency room.  

It gives me time to do my job and during downtimes, I can plan out what I need to do during the week I am off.  Or at least that is normally my plan to do.

That is something I will start doing this year.  Setting up my to do list for the days that I am off and cross them off.  Some projects may be long term, ie decluttering is a long term project.  Deciding on what I truly need to keep and what I need to get rid of.  My wife office I am declaring a federal disaster area! May be I can get federal monies to help clean it up LOL! 

My office is just right now a dumping ground for things that need to be put in place.  That just haven’t made it to their spot.

One thing I do need to do is go through my books and whittle them down to what series I love and will re read and those that can be donated to the book exchange and our little pagan shop for their lending library.  I have a ton of pagan books that I bought years ago, because that is what you do when starting out, you buy everything to find out where your interest lies.

Now that I have somewhat hone in on my own spiritual path, a lot of the books I don’t need nor am I interested in.  So some lucky newbie will be able to read without wasting money on books that are not to their liking. 

The internet has made a little bit easy to find information, but it also has made it difficult to find the correct information.  A lot of misinformation is available to.  But that is the fun part of research, finding information and checking the facts to make sure they are correct and feel right to you.

One thing I can not stress enough, listen to your gut.  If something feels off or it doesn’t set well with you, step away. There is probably a really good reason why your alarm is going off.  

There are a lot of good people in the pagan community and there are a lot of predators out there just waiting for new people to take advantage of.  

There are so many covens, groves, circles, groups that operate above and beyond doing the good, without taking advantage of people seeking information.  But there are also lots of covens, groves, circles, groups who operate based on manipulation in all forms.  Be wary of everyone until you feel comfortable.  You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, nor do you have to do anything that violates your space or ethics and morals you have set up for yourself. 

If any elder, high priestess or high priest tells you, in order to be a part of their space you have to have sex with them regardless if you consent or not, RUN for the hills and if possible report them.  

Thankfully I haven’t had that experience, but I have heard horror stories about other people who were in that situation.  

Hopefully today is a good for you all.  I wish 2016 to be the year you want it to be.  May all your dreams come true and you find what you are truly looking for. 

 

Blessings..

 

Transgender Day of Remembrance, Elder Transphobia

Very interesting read. Take the time and read through this.

Pagan Activist

First let me apologize for my long absence from this site. I really have no excuse. I’ve let time get away from me or something. Perhaps practicing some of that self-care that I talk so much about is something that I need to be doing. Anywhoo…

Courtesy glsen.org

Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance. A day to remember all of those who have fought hard for the cause of trans rights, equality, and even simple recognition. A day to honor the memory of those who have fought and died, those who have been murdered, and those who have been straight-washed out of trans history. This is a day that saddens me and gladdens me. It saddens me to think of the countless lives that have been lost, shattered, and forgotten. It gladdens me that for so many years the LGBTQIA-etc community has been banding together, to extent or another…

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White Tears are falling

So this rolled down my timeline on FB.  It is just a snippet of what was posted.

“Please go back to posting adorable pics of your kids and pets and what you had for dinner!’

This screams of “don’t make me feel uncomfortable about living in my bubble” I don’t want to hear about folk’s opinion that doesn’t make me feel like a good person.

Such a privilege position you happen to sit in.  Dictating to me or anyone else what they should post on THEIR FB feed so you don’t feel guilty about not caring about what is happening in their world.  You only want to hear/see about their adorable kids and pet photos and what you had for dinner.  Fuck that shit.

So not to offend you or to upset your delicate sensibilities (white privilege much), I should only post things that make you happy.  I shouldn’t actually post things that are important in my life, unless it only adorable kids, pets or things I had for dinner photos.

I get it, you only want the happy, full of joy, full of life, and nothing bad ever happens post.  Unfortunately we don’t all get to live in that world you have built up in your head.

I get that you, don’t understand that by me walking out my door I am instantly hit with micro aggression.  I am judged simply for the color of my skin.  You live in a world that caters to you.

I guess you never even thought how that particular post would make me feel.  Of course you didn’t, because what you feel is more important.  It is very simple to control what you see on your timeline without dictating that we should post nothing but adorable kid/pets photos and our amazing dinner creations.  You can hide post very easily.  You do have control over what you see in your timeline.  I know I do, we do use the same FB.

What I won’t do is change how I post.  I will continue to post things that I feel is important to me.  You can choose not to see them; you can choose not to comment on them.  You can simply sail on by like a ship passing in the night.  Never knowing what it is like, to walk a day in my shoes.

You can also continue pretending we live in a world of rainbows, unicorns, puppy kisses and sunshine with glitter falling out of the sky.  But for me I am going to continue living in the actual real world were puppy kisses and sunshine glittered clouds don’t always make the day better.

I am using my voice to shed light on things that are happening and continuing to happen.

Maybe it is time for me to reevaluate my friends list.  Maybe it is time for me to actually unfriend people who can’t see the humanity in me.

 

You may not have actually said those exact words. But…. to me it was implied.

 

May the new day bring you wonderful blessings….

Early morning silence

It is early Wednesday morning around 2:30 am EST as I write this.

I have the TV on mute to block out the chatter coming from MSNBC; there has been a new development in France.

But my mind wanders to Nigeria where there was another explosion that killed 32 people, while they were shopping.  I don’t know how many mothers; fathers or even children were killed.  I just know there life ended today because of terrorism within their country.  The government failed to protect them.  The people they served they didn’t protect.  All of those dreams lost in an instance when some coward fucker decided to not only take his/her life (not sure if the bomber died) but to take innocent victims with them. 

My mind also wanders to another young black man who was shot in the head while in police custody.   He is currently as of this blog post on life support. The government has failed this family also. The police who are there to serve and to protect failed to do so with him.  His life mattered.   He had dreams and aspirations.  Will he actually have that chance to achieve them now? It all depends of whether or not he survives.  Even if he does survive this shooting, his life will be forever changed.  We will never know what he was going to do before this senseless shooting took place.  I send my prayers to him and his family and friends for support. 

I worry about the current generation that is in college (Missouri, Howard, Berkeley, and Yale there are a few others as well) fighting for change to occur.  All the while their lives are being threatened and not being taken seriously. 

It is a daily struggle to go out in this world, and to be look on as less then because of the color of your skin.  Before we even speak we have been judged entirely on our skin color.  This even happens before we are even seen.  When we apply to jobs online, if our names sound to ethnic, we may never get that called back.  Regardless if we are qualified to do the job.  They instantly know that they are not dealing with a white person.

But somehow folks seem to think we get all this cash in grants and loans to magically go to school with no hurdles to jump over.  The affirmative action was successful in getting us in.  We still have to fight and prove each day we belonged there.  We had/have to fight to stay there.  We had to deal with the struggles of micro aggression in classrooms.  We have had respectability politics thrown in our faces.  If we dress this way, wear our hair this way and talk this way; we will appear serious enough to be taken serious enough.  Even though we know we won’t be taken seriously.  Both Martin and Malcolm were assassinated in their Sunday’s best. 

There is a storm brewing. I can feel it, it will be a very nasty storm and the outcome is still murky.  But something has to give.   We can’t continue living this way.  We just can’t.

 

Blessings of the new day…..